May the Best Chicken Break the Fourth Wall
by thinkpink23
Summary: Based on "Dragon Quest". Spike sends a letter to the Princess to find out more about his kind, the letter he belched up during the dragons' contest is revealed, and here's the real truth about Spike's species...well, according to Trollestia. Rated K.
1. MaytheBest Chicken Break the Fourth Wall

"Let's try being…neurosurgeons next," said Scootaloo.

"Sounds good to me!" agreed Apple Bloom.

"What's a…ne-ero…surgeon?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"Ah dunno, but it sounds good to me!"

Scootaloo's ears flopped as she looked at her two younger friends. "That was supposed to be a joke, guys. As in, not really?"

There was a silence.

"Well, if we _were_ gonna do it, it sounds good ta me," Apple Bloom said.

"But being a neurosurgeon would be really gross." Scootaloo said. "It's doing surgery on ponies' brains."

"Surgery is…cutting things up, right?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"Pretty much," Scootaloo said.

"EWWW!"

"Oh come on, Sweetie, Ah'm sure that it would be an int'risting experience!" Apple Bloom said, trotting proudly in a circle. "Scootaloo's probably just chicken."

"HEY!" Scootaloo shouted. "I thought we went over this! I'm not a—"

"Hi, fillies!" Scootaloo was suddenly interrupted as the gray mailpony, Derpy Hooves, dropped down beside them. Her amber eyes were crossed—nothing new.

"Hi Derpy!" said Sweetie Belle.

"Howdy Derpy!" greeted Apple Bloom.

"Package," Derpy said, taking a small box out of her mail sack. "Addressed to Miss Scootaloo. From Rainbow Dash."

"RAINBOW _DASH_?" Scootaloo exclaimed, knocking down her two fellow crusaders like bowling pins as she barreled in front of them. "No way, Rainbow Dash sent _me_ a package?" She squeezed her cheeks with her two front hooves. "This is _so awesome_!"

With speed like lightning and ferocity like a hungry piranha, Scootaloo then proceeded to rip the package apart, paper flying every which way.

"…Oh." Scootaloo picked up the plastic bird beak that was inside the box. It had an elastic string tied on the sides, making it a mask. There was also a small scrap of paper, which she picked up and read.

"Dear Scoots…you are a chicken. Signed, your hero Dash."

Scootaloo frowned. "This isn't Rainbow Dash's writing…"

"Leave it ta Scoots ta know Rainbow's writing," sighed Apple Bloom.

"But if Rainbow Dash didn't send this…" Scootaloo pondered, "…then who did?"

Meanwhile, in Canterlot…

* * *

"Hee hee hee! Oh, she found it! Ahahaha!" Princess Celestia laughed merrily in delight.

"Sister…?" Princess Luna asked, walking into the room. "What art thou—um—what are you doing?"

Celestia only laughed harder, slamming her hoof hard on the armrests of her throne. "Scootaloo—package—found—CHICKEN!" she sputtered between giggles. The two guards standing by her sides still kept up an unbearably stoic demeanor, however, despite Celestia's hysteric glee.

"Um…perhaps I should just leave thou—YOU—alone," Luna said, slightly intimidated by her sister's manic behavior. Celestia paid no attention to her younger sister's leaving, and continued to laugh.

* * *

"Put it on!" screamed Sweetie Belle in giggle fits.

"What, are you too CHICKEN ta look like a fool?" asked Apple Bloom, chuckling. With one dexterous movement of the hooves, she had the beak tied around Scootaloo's muzzle, producing more laughter from everyone except Scootaloo and Derpy, who stood with her eyes crossed and didn't seem to be paying any attention to anything.

Finally, Apple Bloom's laughter died down long enough for her to say, "Well, if we all go cutie mark crusadin', you'll need somepony ta take care of yer chicken coop for ya, Scootaloo!"

Scootaloo frowned even more heavily, but her eyes widened as Derpy suddenly came out of her trance.

"I could do it."

"Yeah, Derpy! Scootaloo would thank ya kindly!" Apple Bloom said, keeping a straight face while Sweetie Belle snickered.

"Guys, really?" muttered Scootaloo.

"It's the chicken coop at Shutterfly's place, isn't it?" Derpy asked, her eyes spinning now.

"At Fluttershy's, yes," Sweetie Belle put in. "Better hurry, because Scootaloo's eggs must be kept warm!"

"Okay!" Derpy said, flying high into the sky before Scootaloo could say a word. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged glances, and burst out in laughter.

"Ha, ha. Very funny, guys," Scootaloo said, not hiding her annoyance.

* * *

"_Can't settle for less, 'cause I'm the best_,"

"_So a contest we will see_,"

"_Who's the number one, greatest, perfectest pet_,"

"_In the world for me!_"

"_May the race begin_!"

Derpy stuck her head out of the chicken coop slowly. She had to admit, Shutterfly and Rainbow Dash were pretty good singers. The fact that music was blaring randomly out of nowhere was cool, and so was the amazing ability of the two pegasi to come up with a full-scale song on the spot. It didn't seem very lifelike.

But then again, maybe life wasn't really life, but maybe an already-planned series of events, like a TV show. Could there be another world out there? If Derpy had it her way, in that world, she'd have millions of fans. Of course, it didn't seem very likely, but…

"And may the best pet win!"

Derpy turned to look in the direction Rainbow Dash was facing. She gasped as she saw something, her eyes suddenly becoming straight. She knew that _they_ couldn't see her, but she could see _them._ She couldn't believe her eyes, crossed or otherwise.

* * *

At Sugarcube Corner, a pink pony with strangely curled hair shivered violently. She smiled. "Somepony else broke the fourth wall," she said to herself.

She turned to face forward and smiled. "Hi," she said, her eyes bright.


	2. The Celestial Mare Do Troll

**Well, I didn't think I would make it longer. But I have been finding ways to poke more fun at the episodes. Besides, it appeared that people thought it was funny. I do apologize that this segment is only a few hundred words long, but I wanted to get this out there before anyone could steal my idea. So...yeah. I present to you:**

**The Celestial Mare Do Troll**

* * *

Rainbow Dash groaned. She should have been the one to outshine them all. She should have been number one. Not that stupid masked Mare Do Well that everypony kept talking about.

What made things worse was that somehow, Mare Do Well had both a horn and wings. Not surprising, really, when Mare Do Well was already loads better than Rainbow Dash, apparently.

"Wait," Rainbow gasped to herself. "I can't believe I…"

She collapsed onto a nearby cloud. "How many ponies in Equestria have both a horn and wings? Only two. Oh my… Oh my…"

Why had she never realized it? One of the princesses was trying to outshine her. How humiliating. It appeared that the rulers of Equestria wanted Rainbow Dash to be put in her place…

* * *

"Sister, I don't see why you find this quite so hilarious," said Princess Luna. "Thou…um, you have been laughing nonstop for a grand while now."

"Why is it not hilarious?" demanded Princess Celestia. "Rainbow Dash is being put in her place. By you!" She giggled. "This is just splendid."

She used her horn to pick up a quill and a piece of paper.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student, the Mysterious Mare Do Well has informed me that she is leaving our kingdom. She has requested that you and your friends take her place—by playing Mare Do Well at different times. From, Princess Celestia. P.S. Tell Rainbow Dash, when she finds out, that you did the spell at the dam and that Fluttershy did the flying. I trust you will do as I say, for you are my most faithful student."

"Our tracks have been covered, sister," Celestia said to Luna as she sealed the letter and sent it off.

* * *

"P-p-p-p-Pinkie? Whudda- hud-d-duh- hud-d-duh- _huh_? Twilight? Applejack? There were three of you?"

"Yup, we all played Mare Do Well at different times."

"_I_ stopped the carriage bus with these babies. Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee."

_She named her legs_, thought Rainbow. _She really named her back legs._

"I saved the construction workers with my Pinkie Sense."

"And I used my magic to fix the dam."

"Ooh, ooh! And I did the flyby afterwards!"

_I guess it wasn't either of the Princesses after all,_ Rainbow Dash thought thankfully. _Only my crazy friends._

* * *

Derpy was trying to figure out her newfound sight. Was it her crossed eyes? Either way, she could see the stares of _them_. How they shouted her name every time they saw her. It made her…happy.

* * *

Pinkie Pie jittered once more in her Mare Do Well costume. She would talk to Derpy Hooves soon. Very soon.


	3. Heart's Derpressing Eve

"Sister, are you feeling all right?" Luna asked. She stopped and smiled inwardly, proud that she actually hadn't said 'art' or 'thou' for once.

"Yes," sighed Princess Celestia. "But I'm just so tired of getting all these friendship reports. I'm glad my faithful student is learning about friendship and is not such a dorky nerd anymore, and I did ask for this, but she is spamming me ridiculously. Plus, I usually have to reply to these letters."

"You could ask her not to."

"No, no, the magic of friendship must be documented. Besides," Celestia added under her breath, "nopony else is gullible enough to take such a tedious job."

Luna looked at the Royal Canterlot Calendar that hung on the Royal Canterlot Wall in the Royal Canterlot Throne Room in the Royal Canterlot Castle. "Isn't the Hearth's Warming Eve play coming up soon?"

Suddenly Princess Celestia gasped. "Luna, you're a genius! If I keep Twilight Sparkle and her friends busy acting in the play, she can't possibly have anything to write to me about. Unless it's something really idiotic like 'Dear Princess Celestia, acting is fun. Friendship means you must be more dramatic.' But I doubt that will happen. Luna, what would I do without you? Sometimes I wonder why I sent you to the moon for a thousand years."

"As do I," Luna said quietly, scratching her head with her hoof.

* * *

Derpy grinned widely as she waved out of the curtains. Not only was there the audience full of ponies waiting to see the Hearth's Warming Eve production, but also the _other _audience that she had only recently discovered. Some of them said, "Ohmigosh it's Derpy!" Some simply smiled. Either way, Derpy was beginning to enjoy this.

Well, until that mean old stage hand had to pull her away. Fine, ruin everypony's fun!

Looking around, Derpy saw Twilight and her friends. Apparently they were playing the lead roles. Derpy was about to go search for muffins when somepony tapped her on the wing.

"Psst!" It was Pinkie Pie.

"Yes?" asked Derpy, crossing her eyes.

"Meet me after the show, okay?"

"Yes," said Derpy, crossing her eyes.

The play was spectacular, though Derpy wondered how the sets were so realistic. She also wondered how they got the snow to look so real. And when three of the six actors froze in place, covered in ice, Derpy cringed. That had to be really, really cold. But finally, the play was over and the actors bowed. Then they sang a nice song about friendship.

Derpy would have left long ago, if not for Pinkie Pie. She just stood there, watching _them_, even though _their_ concentration was on Twilight and her friends. Strange, Derpy noticed, Twilight gave no friendship report. Hopefully she wouldn't get in trouble.

Then Derpy felt the change and felt lighter, now that _their_ eyes weren't on them anymore. She had felt this week after week, since the day fast and flying Rainbow Dash chose a gradual and grounded tortoise for a pet.

"Pinkie Pie, are you coming with us?"

"I'll catch up later, girls! I wanna see more of the candy they got in Canterlot!"

"Well, why not. Just don't be too long, okay?"

"Sure thing! See you later!" Pinkie Pie said, as Twilight and the others left.

Pinkie bounced over to Derpy. "Okay," she said. "Follow me." And Pinkie Pie bounced again—right out of the backstage into nowhere! Derpy felt the watching again, and saw Pinkie.

"How did you do that?" asked Derpy.

"Hop, skip, and jump!" Pinkie called back.

Derpy hopped, skipped, and landed on her face. "Try again!" Pinkie said.

This time, Derpy added some extra flutter with her wings and found herself on a big, flat, wooden surface. It looked weird, so big and diverse and…and…the opposite of flat.

"What's this?" Derpy asked, feeling scared.

"Silly filly," Pinkie said. "This is the _other side_."

"But what is this?" asked Derpy again, huddling closer to the pink pony.

"A computer. Some people watch us through a computer, and some through the TV. In fact, I've heard that nowadays you can even watch stuff on an iPod."

"What?" Derpy felt even more confused. What was Pinkie Pie talking about?

"But I wanna show you something different. Just be careful, okay? We can't let anybody see us!" Pinkie Pie hummed cheerfully and jumped off the desk.

Anybody? Why didn't she say 'anypony'?

It was a long way, but Pinkie Pie brought Derpy to another very very big room. It had a very very big bed, and a very very big bookshelf. The floor was relatively clean, but there were random objects cluttering it. Looking up, Derpy saw a calendar with Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Princess Celestia on it.

"You're on a calendar?" Derpy asked.

"Oh yes! We're also on coloring books, kids' books, and toys." Pinkie didn't seem to think it was big news at all.

Pinkie bounced to the floor near the bed and found what looked like a light blue box. It had a funny black circle on the edge. Pinkie Pie opened the box thing, and there were two black screens. There were also buttons.

"This is a DSi," Pinkie said, answering Derpy's question before it was asked. "Hold on a sec."

She pushed a button, lighting the screens. A noise played, and Pinkie pulled out what looked like a big plastic pen in her teeth. She then selected an icon with an orange frog on it. About half a minute later, Pinkie showed Derpy the screen, where there were six icons. One of them had Derpy on it.

"That's me!" Derpy cried, recognizing her own crossed eyes and bubble cutie mark.

"Yep!" Pinkie said happily.

"What's this? There's _me_ right there!" Derpy said.

"Flipnote Hatena," Pinkie Pie said with the plastic pen in her mouth. "People—like the ones who originally made us—make movies or drawings of us. Pretty cool, right?"

"Yeah!" Derpy said. "Look, is that Shutterfly?"

"Oh, no, no, that's someone's character Featherswallow," Pinkie Pie corrected. "People also make up characters too."

"But that looks nearly identical to Shutterfly."

"Yeah, sometimes people are really unoriginal in their thinking," Pinkie said. "I thought it was Fluttershy too at first."

"That's not Princess Celestia or Princess Luna," Derpy said, bewildered, as she pointed at one icon of a winged unicorn.

"That's Alissa."

"Another character? But I thought only an Equestrian ruler can have both wings and a horn. And what sort of name is Alissa?" Derpy asked.

Pinkie Pie looked at the picture. "Well, they know it, but they want to have an all-powerful character. Instead of having just wings or a horn, they want both. There's also significantly less earth pony characters. And Alissa is a human name—the kind of name that a person in this world would have."

"Flipnote Hatena isn't so great," Derpy mumbled. As her crossed eyes scanned the screen, most of what she saw was false characters and funny little things that said "RP" on them.

Soon Pinkie Pie turned the DSi off again. "We should probably get back," she said. "Later I'll have to show you Fanfiction-dot-net!"

"What's that?"

"A place where people write about us," Pinkie said. "But now we have to get back to Equestria." She looked up and winked.

* * *

**No, you don't have to sing "What's This" for me. You really don't need to. I've heard it all October and December, so just don't.**

**If you don't know what Flipnote Hatena is, I'm sorry. Go Google it, and them look at the MLP channel. You'll see the RPs...everywhere.**

**I did not use any actual MLP fan characters. I also don't mean to offend anyone. Fan characters are fine, but when you draw them and they get mistaken for Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie, that's not a good thing. There are a lot more than five manestyles in Equestria, guys.**

**As for the alicorns, not even Blueblood has wings. Celestia and Luna are the only two!**

**Sorry about the ranting. Have a very Derpy holiday, guys! And a Derpy new year!**


	4. The Super Speedy Misplaced Character

**"The Super Speedy Misplaced Character Relocation Squad 6000"**

"Howdy, Princess!" greeted the orange pony as she entered the Royal Canterlot Throne Room. "Ya said you wanted ta talk ta me?"

"Yes," the Royal Canterlot Princess of the Sun replied, her Royal Canterlot mane flowing in waves.

"There ain't somethin' wrong, is there?" Applejack asked.

"We'll get to that in a moment," the Royal Canterlot Princess of the Sun answered. "Luna!" she called.

Soon the Royal Canterlot Doors to the Royal Canterlot Throne Room opened once again, and in stepped the Royal Canterlot Princess of the Moon.

"Thou hast calleth—um, you called?" the Royal Canterlot Princess of the Moon asked as she approached the Royal Ca…er, Celestia.

"Yes," answered Celestia in monotone. "Do you still have the friendship report?"

"Where is it again?" Luna asked. "Haha, we have spoken modern-style English!"

"It's probably under all the Royal Canterlot Marevel comic book archives," the Royal Canterlot Princess of the Sun told her younger sister.

Luna left the Royal Canterlot Throne Room.

"So, uh…was there somethin' wrong with mah friendship report?" Applejack asked, slightly concerned.

"We'll get to that in a moment," repeated Celestia.

Several minutes passed.

"Well, uh, Princess, if there was somethin' offensive or anythin' in the report, Ah'm mighty sorry," Applejack said.

Celestia ignored the apology. Several more minutes passed.

"We have found the friendship report!" exclaimed the Royal Canterlot Princess of the Moon as she reentered the Royal Canterlot Throne Room. "It was in the basement. Who decorated the basement anyway? It's horrid. The streamers look like dried entrails fluttering in the air. The fake painted skulls look utterly realistic. Not only that, but there's a rolling-tray-thingy with a bunch of knives and stuff on it!"

Princess Celestia gasped in shock and opened her mouth to speak. "No! I-It can't be—"

"Well, well, well! Look whose number came up _this_ time!" cackled a pink mare dressed very strangely, with a unicorn horn necklace and several pairs of wings. Her dress was also very odd, as if it were made of cutie marks sewn together.

"Pinkie Pie? Why in Equestria d'ya have a hacksaw?" Applejack shouted.

"The better to _hack_ you with!" giggled Pinkie maniacally. Suddenly she stopped. "Wait. No, I'm wrong. You don't hack with a hacksaw at all."

"No!" cried Celestia. "How can this be happening? Not the cupcakes! Guards! _Guards_!"

"Their numbers came up _ages_ ago," Pinkie explained. "Ever wondered why your pegasus guards are white now, when your previous ones had black coats?"

Suddenly two ponies in very official-looking outfits barged into the Royal Canterlot Throne Room. One was a mare, the other a stallion. "Ahem. Pinkie Pie, is it?" asked the mare, looking at what seemed to be a list of records.

"Um…yeah," said Pinkie, lowering the hacksaw.

"You don't belong here," explained the stallion.

"You're in the wrong place," the mare told her.

"Lost," the stallion said.

"Disoriented," the mare said.

"Adrift."

"Off course."

"Astray."

"And that's why you're coming with us," the mare said as she placed a pair of hoofcuffs on Pinkie Pie and led her out of the Royal Canterlot Throne Room. The stallion followed her.

"You can't take me away! I'm innocent!"

"Likely story, Miss Pie! Just be silent and we won't use your own hacksaw against you."

"Maybe we should, though."

"No. Otherwise we'd just be subjecting Rainbow Dash to more pain."

"Oh yeah."

Finally the voices faded away.

"…That was quite strange," Luna said.

Celestia, Luna, and Applejack stared at the door for a few more seconds before turning back to the matter at hand.

"Anyway," Celestia said, "let me look over your friendship report." She cleared her throat and began to read. "'Dear Princess Celestia, yadda yadda yadda…I didn't learn anything.' First of all, you spelled 'I' wrong."

"Um…"

"Second of all," Celestia continued, "what do you mean you learned nothing? If you learned nothing, why write? If you'll remember back, I specifically said that you will send me a friendship report _when_, and only _when_, you actually have a lesson to report."

"Well, Ah just figured it'd be polite," explained Applejack.

"Polite to _not_ follow my instructions? Whatever," said the Royal Canterlot Princess of the Sun. "Third of all, you do not express humility at all in this letter. You ramble on about how you were always right and knew everything."

"But Ah did say that Ah knew mah friends were always there fer me," Applejack said. "Isn't that sort of a lesson?"

"You've sent me that lesson before," Celestia said.

"In which letter?" challenged Applejack.

"Well, um, uh," Celestia stuttered, unable to answer because she usually never read the friendship reports unless she really had nothing to do. "Applejack, to the moon!" she cried.

"What now?" asked Applejack, confused.

"Sister?" asked Luna, confused.

"But for what charge?" asked the pegasus guards who had been listening, confused.

"For challenging the Royal Canterlot Princess of the Sun and Ruler of Equestria," explained Celestia. "You can write Ponyville a quick letter explaining your thousand year absence and then it's straight to the moon with you."

"Uh," Applejack mumbled helplessly as a piece of paper and a quill was shoved in her hooves.

"Just make sure you don't misspell 'I' this time," Celestia said. "After you come back from your little lunar vacation, I'll be sending you back to kindergarten."

* * *

**I seem to be rather sluggish in my writing. I apologize. But I have this for you, and hopefully it's random enough for you to live on for some time. As for the two official ponies, that would be the SSMCRS. Should they show up more often? Or retire? You tell me.**


	5. Oversized Lizard Quest

_Dear Princess Celestia,  
Hey. Spike here. I just figured that, well, since I was hatched from an egg in your castle, that maybe you might be able to answer some things about me. Recently, me and my friends saw the dragon migration flying overhead. That was when I realized that, well, I have no idea where my roots are! I don't know where I came from. I asked Twilight, and she didn't know either. She said that all she knew about me was that I hatched from an egg when she took her entrance exam for your school for gifted unicorns. And since it's YOUR school for gifted unicorns, you might know a few things about my history, like where I came from, where I was found, and what I am. So, if you could tell me all you know about me, that would be great. Thanks!  
From Spike_

* * *

_Dear Spike,  
I understand your "teenage angst". After all, I was a teenager once, but that was several centuries ago and since then I haven't had to live through any of the terrible, heartbreaking complications that you have to. And when I was that age, I had servants attending to my every need, so I'm sure that your complications are MUCH more terrible and heartbreaking than mine ever were. You must understand that I want nothing more than to give you the details of your origin, but there are more important matters to attend to before I get to that part just yet._

_First of all, I believe you need to brush up on your grammar. Hasn't Twilight been teaching you? In the letter you sent, you wrote about how "me and my friends saw the dragon abomination" or whatever the heck you said. CORRECTION. It should be written as "my friends and I". This tells me that Twilight has not been teaching you, and I must have a word with her when I get the chance. Again, you failed to recognize that Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns must, and always should be capitalized. Otherwise you are insinuating that my lovely establishment is not distinguished enough to be of correct capitalization. Lastly, there is the matter of semi-colons. Your letter lacks many of them; I am almost inclined to believe that you have no knowledge of what a semi-colon actually is._

_Now that we are over and done with grammar, let me move on to the next section of my letter: upcoming events. For some reason, you seemed to have missed my EXTREMELY important letter extended towards you and Twilight Sparkle. I was informing you of your invitation to this year's annual Grand Galloping Gala. Of course, your friends would be most welcome to attend, but since you apparently brushed your invitation to the Gala away so lightly, I'm sure they won't mind if they skip this year. And because YOU are the one who brushed your invitation away ever so lightly, I'm sure that you would be pleased to know that your invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala has been disregarded. As for any other upcoming events, I will have to talk to Twilight about your current "excellence", to put it sarcastically, in grammar. And oh yes, how could I have forgotten? I had a "Welcome Back" party for your friend Applejack scheduled some time ago, but I must have overlooked it, seeing as such an event is a waste of my valuable time and such a petty thing for a personage of stature such as mine. In any case, I'm sure that your screwball friend Pinkie Pie already took care of that issue. It's such a rare occasion that I let ponies stay on the moon for a mere week._

_Ah, yes, you wanted to know about your origin, am I correct? Well, truth be told, the year that your dear Twilight took the entrance exam, there was a sudden increase in dragon hatchling mortality rates, so we didn't want to rob dragons of their children just to use in our silly exams, did we? So we simply found a species of oversized lizard with a similar egg type to that of a dragon (Lacertilia oversizicus) and used those as a substitute for dragon eggs. That would explain your lack of wings. It might also explain other things as well...that specific species of lizard wasn't very intelligent and clearly had a smaller brain-to-skull ratio, for the mother lizard didn't bother protecting its eggs from our egg-collectors and merely "sat there with a wall-eyed blankness", as one of the collectors reported to me. Not only that, but apparently the adult lizards were not aesthetically pleasing, so much so to the extreme. Some collectors noted that the babies looked even worse. A few felt inclined to study the behavior of this hideous creature, and it was found that its mating habits were more eccentric than its appearance. The male struts around in a circle for a day and a half, then after that period of time sticks out its tongue, unrolling it to its full extent. It stays in that position until a female walks right into its tongue, then quickly coils its tongue back up, trapping her. If the female makes a specific noise, then they mate. If it doesn't, the two of them stay in that position. As you can imagine, there were many lizard pairs standing motionless on their territory._

_I hope that this information has helped you in some way, on your great quest to find out who you are.  
Love, your majestic ruler, Princess Celestia_

_P.S. Don't forget about the meeting I need to have with Twilight concerning your grammar._

_P.P.S. I also want you to inform Twilight and your friends that each of you is UNinvited to the Grand Galloping Gala until further notice._

_P.P.P.S. I was just kidding about the oversized lizard thing. You're really a dragon. So don't sweat it._

_P.P.P.P.S. I was kidding about the lizard thing, but I'm not kidding about the grammar conference or your UNinvitations._

_P.P.P.P.P.S. Luna says hi. Well, actually she says "how art thou"._


End file.
